My name is Laurie, and I am a Target addict.
It started innocently enough. Occasional visits to buy clothes for the grand-kids or stock up on storage bins. Soon, the need escalated. I would madly rifle the Sunday paper for the Target sale circular. Find any excuse to pop-in "just to see what's new." When the cashiers started greeting me by name, I knew I had a problem.
But can you blame me? The comforting "whoosh" of the automatic doors; those cute red plastic carts; those delightful dollar bins; the sassy bulldog mascot, dazzling commercials, and surprisingly chic discount fashion. These guys are good! That giant red bulls-eye sign? Well, I finally realized the Target is ME!
I'm not a church-goer. I'm not a joiner of reading clubs. I don't do group-think. But at Target, I feel like I belong. Yes, I know the store is cleverly designed to pull me deep into Small Electrics, but wandering the aisles is a mini-vacation, a break from dull routine. As I cannily scan the endcaps for the best "Clearance" merch or daydream of mountain streams in the Camping aisle (I've never actually been camping but that's the addiction talking) I believe anything is possible, even CHEEZ-IT's for $2.94!!
Anyway, I know this has to stop. So I've embarked on my own 12 Step Program to rid myself of this terrible Target compulsion (with apologies to AA, I'm a bit impatient, so it's actually 5 Steps):
- Admit I have a problem. (See above.)
- Believe that a Power greater than myself can restore my sanity (Thanks, Suze Orman!)
- Make amends for the errors of my ways. (Hmm, this is tough. Should I return my purchases? Cut up my charge cards? I know, I'll make a donation to Toys for Tots! I'll just run to Target and buy something....DOH!! See how insidious this addiction is?)
- Learn how to live a new life with a new code of behavior. (Made good progress here. Vowed to shop Wal-mart occasionally even though I think it's ruining small-town America and I hate those goofy greeters.)
- Help others who suffer from the same compulsion. (Note: People in the checkout lane can get downright nasty when told they are addicted and need a Sponsor.)
You'll be happy to know I'm now completely free of my previous obsession. I realize that there is much more to Life than whiling away the hours in Target. Forget about "Expect More. Pay Less." I'm all about "Live more. Shop less." I'm all about Art! Music! PBS! (Okay, American Idol).
Life is short, time is precious and ...oops, hold on, I just got friend-ed on Facebook. Gotta run!
2 comments:
Well said! My girlfriends and I estimate we can't get out Target for under 80 bucks. If there's a Target's Anon. sign me up!
I too, am totally addicted to Target. There's a special draw for moms with small children...the $1 toy bins can occupy the kids while I browse looking for things I do not need! I have yet to get out of a Target for under $100.
Great essay!
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